Anywhere but here.

Declan-Where are we going today?
Me-Nowhere.
Declan-If we're going nowhere, then we can go anywhere.

All Lies.

"Don't lie. Don't lie to your precious kid." Declan

I wasn't lying.  I received a Christmas present in the mail and they didn't believe that it was for me and not them.

Growing Old.

I used to be flexible when I was a baby.  Now I'm not because of my sleep.  When I sleep, I go kink.

How Much is Your Pancake Worth?

This quote is about 2 years old.  Declan was about 4.

Christian(Dec's brother)-I ate one and a quarter of my pancakes.
Dec-Well I ate a dollar and a quarter of my pancakes.

Stop.

Dec: I wish the funner times were slower.
Me: Yeah, me too.
Dec: *Sigh* I just want it to slow down.

Inquiring Minds Want to Know.

Dec: I don't know why Jesus made us.
His cousin: Yeah, I don't know about Zombies.

Please Dispose.

Declan has a "Woody" doll(from Toy Story.)
Tonight he tells me, "Woody doesn't respect me, so I don't respect Woody."
Me, "Do you want me to take Woody away?" 
Dec, "Yes, please dispose of him."

The Giving Tree.

While collecting pine cones for arts and crafts, Declan made this observation: That's nice of the trees to drop their pine cones for us.

It's What's For Breakfast.

Declan: No!
Me: Well, french toast is what I made for breakfast.  What else would you have?
Declan: Cheetos!  And that's my final offer.
Christian(the brother): Yeah because the oreos are all gone.

How Do You Know How My Finger Tastes?

I was pushing muffin batter off my spoon into the muffin tins with my (clean, of course)finger.  Declan says, "But the muffins don't taste like your finger."

Preemptive Dinner Strike.

Dec: I hate that smell.
Me:  What smell?
Dec: The smell of what's cooking!
Me:  Nothing's cooking yet, I'm just boiling water.
Dec: Well, I don't like it.

How to Rank Your Pokemon.

Another guest post from Declan's brother, Christian.  "I kinda judge Pokemon by their looks."

Deer Me.

Today's quote comes from Declan's brother, Christian.  "I wish deer were smart enough to look both ways.  But not smart enough to make weapons and kill people."

Finally Some Recognition For My Work.

Today while shopping alone, I bought a package of cupcakes.  When Dec came home and noticed one was missing he asked what happened to it.  I told him I ate it.  He tells me, "Its ok.  You deserved it."

His Life Plan.

I'm going to be a worker and do my ninja work at night.

Unconditional Love.

Dec to me(his mom):  I still love you even though you eat kale.

Continuing on the Spawning Theme...

What if you die and got re-spawned in the place you were born, but as a baby and you remember everything?

Dec's Thoughts on Alaska.

The Earth spawned a lot of rocks here.

Are You Adorable?

Dec: You only take pictures of adorable things?
Me:  Yeah.
Dec: Like me?
Me:  Yeah.
Dec:  Yeah, I'm pretty adorable.

Push That Button.

Declan's description of the flight attendant call button:

"That button, with the picture of a human, brings you food."

Two Dogs.

When I get older, I'm going to have three chihuahuas and two dogs.

Live Your Life.

People stay alive for a long time.  I don't know what I'll be when I grow up.  Wait a minute!  I know I'm going to be a ninja.

Good Night's Rest.

Me:  Did you have a good sleep Declan?
Dec: I don't know, I'm awake now.

Your Breath Smells.

Your breath smells like chocolate caramel.  Yum!  Make it come at me again.

Life Exploded.

Me:  Why were you so cranky/sassy(for your uncle?)
Dec: Because I didn't get my way.  My life almost exploded.

Millions of Sticks.

Dec: Why can't I bring sticks home in the car?
Me:  Because you forget them and then I have to clean them out.
Dec: This is not true!
Me:  This is true.
Dec: And that is how I lose out on millions and millions of sticks.

Little Boy's Potty Humor.

Declan:  I'm scratching my butt.
Me: That's nice. (Sarcastically)
Declan:  No, that's funny.

How Declan Feels About Salads.

What do you think about Theresa's salad, Declan?

Keep Your Feet on the Ground.

Dec:  Do you know why my feet are on the ground?
Me:  No, why?
Dec:  Because I'm looking at them.

Raspberries

Me: Do you want some raspberries?
Dec: That would be pleasing to me.

Planning Ahead.

Me: Declan don't do that!
Dec: Why?
Me: Because I don't want you doing that.
Dec: Oh...................can I do it tomorrow?

Cheese Curds.

Babysitter: Do you want some cheese curds?

Dec: No, my nerves can't handle it.

Like a Boss.

My teddies are my minions.

He's busy.

Dec: When Granma comes, can you tell her about my Lego museum?
Me: Why can't you tell her?
Dec: Because I'm going to be busy watching TV.

Dad.

Most dads get taller, my dad gets wider.

Dec's Brother and Cousin Say Stuff Too.

 

Overheard while the two boys were picking up the toys:

 

Christian - Where is it?
Isaac - I don't know, but I didn't swallow it.



July 16, 2009

Dec Grown Up?

This guy gets it.

Urban Crusades

Deep Thoughts

Dec - Do you know what I'm thinking, grandma?

Grandma - Nope!

(pause)

Dec - No one does.


2012

Energy

Eat your food up Declan! -Me
No, I have enough energy to survive until tomorrow. -Dec

Our new pet rabbit

Declan named our new pet rabbit, Doom Bunny.


June 17, 2012

The Stars

Tonight we went to the planetarium and on the way out, Dec pokes the student presenter in the tummy and says, "Thank you for all the stars. It was exciting."

The presenter also made a joke about how all the nerds would recognize Patrick Stewart as the narrator. Dec looks at me very seriously and says, "I am not a nerd."


June 18, 2012

Hunger

"I'm starving to my doom." -Declan, because I didn't show enough sympathy when he was hungry.


June 11, 2012

Girl Trouble

Dec (talking to the TV) - What! Why don't you like me? Why are you doing this to me?

Dec (general announcement) - The TV is a girl.


Janurary 18, 2012

Babies are people too.

Mom, I love babies. They're my favorite humans.

March 15, 2011

Burps

Mommy, I burped two burps. A juice burp and a chocolate burp.

Janurary 4, 2010

Cutie Pie

Me: Are you a cutie pie?
Dec: You're a pie, mom.

August 28, 2010