Anywhere but here.

Declan-Where are we going today?
Me-Nowhere.
Declan-If we're going nowhere, then we can go anywhere.

All Lies.

"Don't lie. Don't lie to your precious kid." Declan

I wasn't lying.  I received a Christmas present in the mail and they didn't believe that it was for me and not them.

Growing Old.

I used to be flexible when I was a baby.  Now I'm not because of my sleep.  When I sleep, I go kink.

How Much is Your Pancake Worth?

This quote is about 2 years old.  Declan was about 4.

Christian(Dec's brother)-I ate one and a quarter of my pancakes.
Dec-Well I ate a dollar and a quarter of my pancakes.

Stop.

Dec: I wish the funner times were slower.
Me: Yeah, me too.
Dec: *Sigh* I just want it to slow down.

Inquiring Minds Want to Know.

Dec: I don't know why Jesus made us.
His cousin: Yeah, I don't know about Zombies.

Please Dispose.

Declan has a "Woody" doll(from Toy Story.)
Tonight he tells me, "Woody doesn't respect me, so I don't respect Woody."
Me, "Do you want me to take Woody away?" 
Dec, "Yes, please dispose of him."